April 27th: Day 3

I began my fast two days ago (Monday, the day after Easter). Monday wasn't very easy to get through simply because I was HUNGRY. Or, at least I thought I was. But, by the end of the day, I was proud of myself. I am definitely glad that I do not work outside of the home though as I was very cranky and irritable. My body (or possibly my brain) wanted food and it made me mad to see even my family around me eating. I was also a little sad to know that there were foods around me that were going to end up going to waste. But, I think this was more spiritual than anything. I kept trying to justify eating something.

On Tuesday, my second day, my stomach was very noisy, but I didn't really get all that hungry until night time just before going to bed. (Perhaps I should clarify that the fast I have chosen to do consists of water, juice, supplements and a protein/meal replacement shake. I know that this may be considered 'cheating' on a fast, but it is what I feel led to do.) I kept waiting for the spiritual side of things to kick in, but it hadn't happened yet. I just kept praying to God for strength and peace. I repented for my attitude and asked that God would show me why it was on my heart to fast.

Today is Day 3. Today has been the worst day by far. I can't remember the last time Ihave had such a terrible headache. I'm not at all hungry and my stomach has stopped growling for the most part. But, I am worn out, dizzy, nauseous and a multitude of other physical things are going on. I am continuing to pray for God's strength and provision. I wish to continue this fast, but I also want to be a responsible steward of His temple (my body). We shall see what the rest of the evening brings. Hopefully I will begin to feel better and have a little more energy.

Oh, and the next time I fast, I will do better to be more prepared physically and spiritually. And, perhaps I will be more careful about scheduling it around major events. I didn't really know what I was going going into this fast, so I jumped in with both feet (though it feels like I jumped in with my head this time around). Lord, give me the strength, courage and resolve to see this fast through to the end. Amen.

Fasting: One woman's journey

About a week and a half ago, there was an insert in the bulletin at church outlining safe fasting practices along with a card to turn in stating one's desire to participate in a period of fasting and prayer in preparation for the church's Spring Revival. While I have never participated in a fast before, I have always been curious by them. This time, I hve decided to participate.

Here, I will be keeping a journal of my experiences. I know that there are those out there who do not agree with making a private journey public information. But, I don't see any harm in sharing my experiences. So, if you are so inclined, feel free to join me on my journey.

Songs To Kill Your Baby By

I borrowed the following message from a facebook page I follow. It had been sitting in my email inbox for a while before I had a chance to go and actually read it. So, if the information listed is no longer valid or available, I apologize. I just thought I would share something that has been going around. While I am not a twitter user myself, I know many of you out there are and would want to at least check this out. Please consider taking action. And, even if you aren't a twitter user now, consider signing up if for no other reason than to take a stand for life. I am certainly considering it.


Kristan Mercer Hawkins
Songs To Kill Your Baby By
Posted by Kristan Mercer Hawkins at 4:39pm on September 10th, 2010
Dear Friends,

Last night a disturbing “trending topic” emerged on Twitter. Most will probably know that Twitter is a service in which people give their thoughts, opinions or make statements in 140 characters or less. You can follow other people's “tweets” or even follow a “trending topic”. Trending topics are often current events around the world, things that millions of people seem to be interested in.

This topic is: Abortion Clinic Play Songs, #abortionclinicplaylistsongs. In other words, songs you would listen to while you wait in the lobby of an abortion facility waiting to have your child killed.

Now this is not a serious list and folks are actually making a sick game out of it and submitting titles that they think are funny.

However, abortion is no laughing matter. It’s a deadly business. And joking about what songs you would listen to moments before you killed your child is not a funny topic.

Would it be funny to have people submit the songs they would listen to moments before they committed suicide? Or moments before their parents passed away? How about songs one could listen to when watching young children get gunned down in the Sudan?

So, why abortion? Why have the worst moments in millions of women’s lives become a joke? Those moments where a young mother feels she has no choice but to kill her precious child should never be taken lightly.

Right now, I need you to log-in to your Twitter account and use this “trending topic”, #abortionclinicplaylistsongs to express your outrage. Here are some sample Tweets you can use:

- There shouldn’t be a playlist for killing preborn humans and hurting women #abortionclinicplaylistsongs #abolishabortion

- Think #abortion is funny? Listen to a song of regrets: “Tears Fall” by @BarlowGirl #abortionclinicplaylistsongs http://bit.ly/aWJ9OP

After you send your Tweet, don’t forget to follow us at www.twitter.com/students4lifehq!

Thank you for standing up for Life,
Kristan Hawkins
Executive Director
Students for Life of America

Be blessed and make a stand for life, please.

It's Time Again

The time has come again to begin raising money for Life Centers (formerly Central Indiana Crisis Pregnancy Centers). This will be my 3rd year to participate. I am working even harder this year to raise more money than I have in the past. My personal goal is $1500. Will you help me reach it?

A Temporary Farewell

I have so many thoughts I have wanted to share lately but haven't been able to make the time to do it. For that, I am sorry. I know you all just hang on my every word and wait with baited breath for my next post to come out. :)

But, in order to show how dedicated I am to my family, I have decided to step away from the computer (other than checking emails twice a day) for the next 40 days. This begins today. As soon as I am finished with this message, I will be walking away from the computer until this evening when I will be checking emails again.

I pray that you are all blessed beyond words during this Lenten season. I will 'see' you all again after Easter.

How Can It Be?

I know it's been so long since my last post. Life has been very busy with being pregnant and then going from 2 to 3 children in our home. I wanted to take the opportunity to share some thoughts I've been having lately.

One of the reasons I have not posted here much is because my heart breaks almost daily thinking about abortion. I just don't understand it. Look at the two pictures below and tell me how the thought of abortion is even possible.





I know that I had some struggles in my pregnancies and the thought of abortion did pop up once or twice, but only because I felt my health was being compromised by being pregnant. I know I could never go through with it though. I mean, seriously, look at that beautiful big belly and then that face. Could you do it? Could you, knowing what you were doing, end the life of that beautiful little boy? I know I couldn't.

It's just been too hard for me to even really want to get back into the pro-life ministry right now. Perhaps some of it is hormone-related, perhaps not. I don't know. All I know is that my heart is not strong enough to take watching women go in and out of abortion clinics or talk to women who are considering abortions at this point in time. May God have mercy on me for feeling this way...

P.S. I know my first pic is small. I don't have any larger images.

The Big Ultrasound

I went to the hospital a couple weeks ago for my first ultrasound. The first one is always so exciting. Though, it's never as exciting as hearing the baby's heart beating for the very first time at that first prenatal visit. That sound is always so exhilarating. I think I might take the camera to my next visit to get a video of listening to the baby. I would just do an audio of it, but I don't know how to add audio without video on a blog. So, you all may just get a chance to see me and my big belly soon. :)

I didn't bother taking any pictures at the ultrasound appointment though. They always give a few images anyway. So, I will post those below. The ultrasound appointment is exciting in that we get an idea of how big the baby is and get to find out the gender (not that we care one way or the other). To me, it's a small glimpse into the baby's world. God is so amazing! I don't think it's as exciting for me though because I can't really see the images so I have to take the word of others around me. The fun part for me is that my children all seem to be a bit stubborn when it comes to being looked at, lol. We have a picture of my daughter pushing the ultrasound probe away from her. I don't remember if my son was as difficult to capture on the screen, but I remember him moving a lot. With this baby, his hands were always up by his face, so we couldn't get a good shot of his face. And, YES, I do keep making references to a boy. That's because it IS a boy. :)

So, everything looked good and all that, so we just wait for our next prenatal visit with the doctor. All is well. :)

Oh, goodness! How fitting is it that I'm sitting here talking about God's most precious gifts and miracles when the song 'God You Reign' comes on? Isn't His timing perfect, lol.

Many blessings to you all and I hope you enjoy the images below.